Issues with Friends

Have you had any issues with some of your close friends? I had one time, actually a couple of times with different friends, high school, college and even friends from my previous work. But after a while, it was alright. We got back to being friends again.

What do you usually do, when you have some conflicts with friends? Do you confront them face to face, send them an e-mail or what about sending them a letter telling them all that things that you feel with this particular friend had done to you.

I have a friend who is in a dilemma with her other close friend. The other friend, let's call her Lina, according to my friend has been acting a little crazy. Crazy in a way that she likes to take advantage of my friend whom we are going to call Jane. According to Jane, or should I say according to what I understand Lina has been taking advantage and had been not the good friend.

"Sometimes little things like borrowing an outfit and not returning it and later telling the owner that she will just pay for it or buy her a different one, only to find out that the reason she can't return it is because the outfit was already ruin. And when the owner agreed for her to buy a different one, she cannot even get her the same one."

If you are going to ask me on what to do, I'd say tell it to her face. Just let it out and then wait what will happen. If she is really a friend she should do something about her attitude but if she is the type of person who loves to take advantage then ditch her out. She is of no good.

But if you want to try to save your friendship, you can try some of these quick tips:

1. Open the lines of communication. Nothing can happen unless you can communicate with your friend, so do what you can to start the discussion. Use whatever medium you can: instant messages, texting, email, phone or (if possible) face-to-face conversation.
2. Tell them how you feel and ask how they feel. Always do so in a calm, courteous way, repeatedly emphasizing that you want to be friends again.
3. Give them some space. If communication didn’t work, one or both of you are too emotionally charged to set things right at this point. Let things cool down before you try anything else. Plus, sometimes absence makes the heart grow fonder!
4. Swallow your pride. If things still aren’t working out, honestly assess whether it is you who is in the wrong. Try seeing things from your friend’s perspective. How would you act in their position?
5. Apologize when you’re wrong. You might be thinking that you, too, were wronged, but that doesn’t mean you can’t apologize for wronging your friend.
6. Talk to your other friends. They may help you think of a way to fix the friendship. If nothing else, you’ll be in friendly company.
7. Accept that friendships change. If none of these tactics work, it may be time to realize that sometimes the best thing is for two formerly close people to go their separate ways.

This article was created mainly for my good friend whom I had some conflicts before but I guess since we have been really good friend since high school we manage to put things aside and just started talking again. And I'm really glad that we are friends again. Now go and talk to Lina. :) Good luck Jane!


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